LAPIDOT - Not letting You go
by LonelyHuntress
Summary: Hey there, This is my first FF. It's about Steven Universe and my OTP Lapidot. It tells the story of Lapis Lazuli after her arrival an Homeworld. Most of the story's beginning is set on the ship where Lapis is supposed to be Peridot's prisoner. But maybe she is something more? NOTE: I canged Peridot's charakter a little and in this her metallic arms are prostheses.
1. Chapter 1: Imprisoned again

Lapis didn't have a clue of what was about to happen to her. She didn't know that the next few weeks would change her life forever.  
Maybe none of this would have happened if she never flew back to Homeworld. But she did. And so everything took its course. Lapis had had no clue why she was imprisoned by Yellow Diamond right after her arrival. Everyone told her that she was a traitor. Afterwards, nobody spoke to her, and nobody cared about her.

Then, after she spent a few days in prison, the blue gem was brought to Yellow Diamond's place again. The first thing she saw when she entered the room was another gem who was standing with her back to her and talking to Yellow Diamond.  
Someone informed the Diamond about Lapis' arrival and the ruler of Homeworld's armies stood up.

"Peridot, you were asking for an informant to guide you to earth. This will be your informant."  
The other gem, named Peridot, turned around and glared at Lapis.

"THIS is supposed to be my informant?", she yelled. "Who is that?"  
Yellow Diamond glared down at the smaller gem.

"Her name is Lapis Lazuli, and she has been stuck on earth for thousands of years. Nobody else would know the way to earth as well as her."  
The Diamond frowned.  
"But I recommend you not to trust her. We are quite sure she's a traitor who probably worked together with some gems from the rebel group Rose Quarz founded." Peridot looked annoyed.

"So, you are sending me a TRAITOR to guide me?"

"Yes Peridot. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No Yellow Diamond." Peridot looked up to her leader again. "And what about an escort to eliminate any leftover rebels?"

The Diamond gave a signal to one of her guards and she disappeared only to come back with a new gem. A gem Lapis would rather not face in a fight.

"This is Jasper. She is a war veteran and has many years of experience with eliminating the enemy. She is going to be your escort."

Jasper and Peridot were introduced to each other. Nobody paid attention to Lapis, standing in the corner, being held by the guard who brought her here until the Diamond told them to go. Peridot walked up to Lapis and looked at her patronizingly.

"What a pathetic little creature. You're supposed to be happy that Yellow Diamond left you alive. If I was her I'd crushed your little useless gem into millions of pieces right after you arrived here."  
Lapis flinched at these words only to be grabbed by the more powerful gem.

"You are not going anywhere." Peridot growled. Their faces were only a few centimetres away from each other.

"You are my prisoner now, Lapis Lazuli. And I am never letting you escape."


	2. Chapter 2: A Prisoner's Affection

Lapis sat inside a cell on the ship that was about to fly Jasper, Peridot and herself to earth. She couldn't believe that she was going to earth again.

All the time Lapis had been trapped inside the mirror everything she wanted was to leave the miserable planet. But now, after she had seen what happened to Homeworld, Lapis would give almost anything to go back.  
Homeworld had changed a lot since Lapis left, over 5000 years ago. Everything was so advanced, sterile and technical. Lapis has never been the type of gem who was interested in science or computers so she felt misplaced in a world made of technology.

Maybe she would be able to escape during the stay on earth. Was it possible for her to just ask Steven and the Crystal Gems to take her in? Would they even trust her? Lapis looked up to a little camera that was attached to the ceiling. No. She wouldn't be able to escape. Not as long as Peridot was watching her.

She remembered how Peridot had guided her into the ship without letting go of her arm. She had been the one to throw Lapis into a cell activate the shield that blocked the way out. Lapis would never forget the words the other gem was saying while imprisoning her.

"I am going to watch you, Lapis Lazuli. And if you are going to cause any trouble you will bitterly regret that. Understood?"  
Lapis had only nodded, too afraid to say something.

The ocean gem shuddered by the memory of Peridot. She obviously hated her and wanted to scare the less powerful gem, and the worst thing about it was, she had succeeded. Lapis was scared of Peridot.  
As she sat on the cold cell floor, she felt a deep hatred against the other gem growing inside her.

Peridot sat in the cockpit of her spaceship. She was supposed to keep an eye on the instruments and displays, but she felt distracted.

Maybe it was because of the long flight? It was at least 2000 years ago since she had travelled through space for more than a week.  
Of course, Peridot had already been on earth, but that was only to check on the warp pads. She sighed. How much easier this would be if those stupid clods hadn't destroyed the warp pad again.

She had always had a short temper when it came to people touching or destroying her stuff, especially her machines and inventions.  
Maybe that was the reason she was distracted? She was worried about her ship. But deep inside she knew it was neither the long travel nor the concern for her machines that had taken over her thoughts.

It was Lapis Lazuli.

Maybe Peridot has been too rough to her? The blue gem seemed so fragile. She obviously was scared of the more powerful gem. Not that Peridot had any problem with that. At least, none that she knew of…


	3. Chapter 3: Check on you daily

Peridot was on her way to the cell containing Lapis Lazuli. Yellow Diamond has told her to take care of the prisoner and check on her daily.  
The green gem was already able to see the cell. She walked up to it and looked through the yellow energy field.

A thin figure was sitting on the floor with her knees pulled to her chest and her head down. Her prisoner looked even more fragile and helpless then Peridot remembered. She had to force herself to say something.

Lapis was about to fall asleep – somehow. She didn't really know how to sleep and had never done it before, but she felt herself drifting away, her tiredness taking over until she heard some heavy footsteps nearby. Lapis didn't lift her head up to see who was coming. She hoped it wasn't Peridot.

"I see you're getting comfortable."

Lapis winced when she heard the arrogant voice. She slowly lifted her head and looked at the gem standing in front of the cell. Lapis didn't say anything. She had sworn to herself not to say a single word to this gem.  
Peridot was still waiting. She was standing in front of Lapis for a couple of minutes until Lapis wasn't able to take the silence anymore.

"No..." she mumbled.

"Why not?" Peridot asked, a little surprised she had gotten a response at all.

"Because I'm a prisoner! How can I ever be comfortable when I'm in here!?" said Lapis loudly, glaring at her captor. Peridot's' face was emotionless, cold green eyes hidden behind her pale visor.

"What is she talking about?" the green gem asked herself. "How does being a prisoner affect Lapis Lazuli? She's not hurt, she's not in any danger. She's just unable to leave."

"You are being illogical." she said monotonously.

"I'm the one being illogical?!" Lapis was yelling now. "YOU'RE the one being illogical! Or at least completely heartless and cruel! Is there even a single thing you care about except yourself?"

Peridot froze. Why would she ask about that? Her mind – only being used to logical facts, maths and science – was not able to comprehend what was going on with this strange blue gem.

"Your words are not making any sense." She frowned. "What do you mean "caring about something"?"

Lapis glanced up at Peridot surprised. Did she really not know how to care about something? No, that would be impossible. Everybody has something they care about, or someone who cared about them, Lapis was sure.  
But the confused look in Peridot's' eyes made her begin to doubt.


	4. Chapter 4: Affected Mind

For a couple of minutes Peridot remained silent. Then she spoke in a provocative voice. "Do YOU have someone whom you care about?"

Lapis was speechless for a moment because the other gem had intuitively hit her weak spot.

"Well, I still have Steven!" Lapis knew that she sounded pathetic. "And I had someone, some time ago…" she guardedly added.

"Whom?" Peridot asked.

Lapis clenched her fist. "That's none of your business!" she yelled. "Don't you have more important things to do than wasting your time by talking to your "weak little prisoner"?"

This was the first time Lapis saw Peridot smiling. "Yes I have." She responded. "But Yellow Diamond gave me the order to check on you every day so…you better get used to me."

Lapis growled. "Never. I am not going to say a single word anymore." She sat down and leaned against the wall without looking at her captor who remained standing in front of the yellow force field.

"Fine" Peridot turned away from her.

"I hate you!" The blue gem yelled.

Peridot turned around again. "As if I care."  
Then the green gem walked away leaving an annoyed but also confused Lapis behind.

A few hours later Lapis was lying on the floor of her cell. Peridot hadn't showed up again what made her wonder what the other gem was doing.  
Probably flying the ship or doing some other computer stuff Lapis wouldn't understand anyway.

"Why do I even care what she's doing?" Lapis asked herself. "She is my enemy. She is the one who captured me, who put me into this cell and who keeps annoying me with her weird questions and her dubious intentions."

Lapis left out a small sight.

"And with her cold yet somehow beautiful green eyes…"

It took the blue gem a second to realize what she'd just thought. Lapis lifted herself abruptly off the ground and she kept staring unbelievingly at the opposite wall.

Had she really just thought that her captor had beautiful eyes?

The ocean gem dropped herself to the ground again. This prison was really affecting her mind.

"No Jasper, don't touch that!" Peridot yelled to the bigger gem who came to the cockpit some minutes ago and was already disturbing her.  
She was definitely the kind of gem who needed to be alone to get some work done.

"Hey, calm down Peridot." The escort responded. "I am not touching anything."

"Remember, you are under my command while you are here. Even if you may be higher ranked on Homeworld, this is my mission."

"Yeah yeah" Jasper grumbled. She was obviously annoyed that she had to follow the commands of her fellow gem but she probably was too afraid that Peridot may report her if she doesn't.

"I am leaving anyway" Jasper said. "These computers everywhere are making me nervous…"  
Peridot only mumbled some "Hmmm".

When Jasper was finally gone the green gem left out a sigh. Finally alone. She needed to get to work now. Too much time has been wasted by talking to her escort and thinking about her pathetic yet somehow beautiful prisoner.

Wait. Why was she thinking about that Lapis Lazuli? And since when was that prisoner being beautiful?


	5. Chapter 5: Prison Talk

Lapis must really have fallen asleep because when she opened her eyes again she heard some loud voices nearby.

The blue gem tried not to listen but the voices were too loud to just ignore. It was Peridot talking to someone else. Lapis suspected it to be that other gem, Jasper.

Jasper had not talked to her yet, but merely her presence made Lapis shiver. When Lapis was afraid of Peridot then she really panicked in front of Jasper.

She seemed to be really violent and Lapis hated violent gems. There was nothing she was more afraid of than violence.

"You are always getting in my way! Just stay in your room until we arrive, okay?" That was Peridot, her voice sounded different than when she usually talked to Lapis.

She seemed really furious.

Lapis didn't know that Peridot was even able to feel anything.

"You are not telling me what to do!" This was the other voice. It sounded completely different to Peridot's.

"I am doing whatever I want and you are not going to prevent me again, otherwise…"

Lapis heard a loud noise coming from the same direction. Someone screamed. And it was not Jasper.

Then, a few minutes passed, and she saw the huge orange gem approaching her cell. Jasper wanted to pass but stopped when she saw Lapis.

"You're the traitor who is supposed to guide us to earth?" she asked.

Lapis starred at the terrifying gem in front of her cell. She nodded.

Jasper turned away contemptuously. "Good luck with that weakling, Peridot," she yelled. "Fortunately she is not my problem."

Then she turned around again. "Hm, you two are going to get along with each other, Peridot. Because both of you are useless clods getting in my way."

With these words she went away leaving a surprised and offended Lapis behind.

Where was Peridot? Almost ten minutes had passed after Jasper left and Lapis was still unable to see the green gem.

She approached the force field in order to look outside. "Peridot?" she called. "Peridot are you here?"

A few seconds everything remained silent. Then she heard a familiar voice coming closer. "I am here."

A few moments later Lapis was able to see the other gem. She approached her prisoner's cell and dropped herself beside the yellow shield.

"A-are you okay?" Lapis asked. She wasn't worried about Peridot; she just wanted to know if Jasper was ruthless enough to hurt her fellow gem. At least this was the excuse Lapis kept telling herself.

"I am fine." Her captor's voice was emotionless again. "Jasper just lets her emotions get out of hand sometimes."

Lapis nodded. Then she dared to ask another question. "What has she done? I mean, why were you so angry with her?"

Peridot sighed. "Actually, this is none of your business, but okay, I'll tell you. She destroyed a couple of the robonoids I brought here. I need them to help me in any kind of emergency."

"Robonoids?" Lapis asked. "What are robonoids?"

Peridot sighed again. "Robonoids are small robots I invented. They are helping me with my work."

Lapis listened fascinated when Peridot described her other machines, her work at home and everything she's been working on for thousands of years.

This was the first time Lapis seemed interested in this kind of stuff. Never before had she met someone who was able to explain these things to her without the blue gem getting bored after a few minutes.

But Peridot managed. And suddenly Lapis was asking herself how that could be.


	6. Chapter 6: Kindergarten Kid

The next few days Peridot's visits were not that bad for Lapis. She even secretly enjoyed talking to the other gem but would never admit that.

The prison was boring and the only relief was her captor's daily visit. Lapis began to secretly think that the other gem was not so bad after all.

She told Peridot a lot about herself. But the other gem was barely telling Lapis about her own past.

The ocean gem didn't ask. She wanted Peridot to tell her because she trusted her and not because Lapis begged her.

Five days after she first met Jasper Peridot came again. She sat down beside the yellow force field as always.

"So, how are you?" the green gem asked.

"Well, as fine as possible while being a prisoner." Lapis answered. A part of her still hated Peridot for putting her in prison again.

"So, what do you want to talk about today?" Peridot asked.

Suddenly Lapis was angry again. What was she even doing here? This gem was evil! No matter how nice she sounded sometimes. She'd called her useless and pathetic. She'd put her into this cell.

"Nothing!" Lapis crossed her arms and turned away. "Just leave!"

Peridot was confused for a moment. "Um, okay…if you don't want to talk…" She stood up and prepared to leave.

"Why are you even talking to me?" Lapis shouted. "I thought I was pathetic and useless? Just your weak little prisoner…DON'T ACT LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT ME BECAUSE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE!"

Peridot froze. "We've already talked about this." She said.

Lapis clenched her fist. "I know. And you never answered to me."

Peridot crossed her arms. "Well, YOU never answered to me either…so, who was that person you cared about?"

Lapis' eyes filled with tears when she remembered her life before the time she had been trapped on earth.

"My…my mother."

Peridot frowned. "What is a 'mother'?"

Lapis looked up at her captor, surprised. "Y-you don't know what a mother is?" she asked, unbelieving.

"Is that something important?" Peridot asked while she dropped herself in front of the field again.

"Well, yes." Lapis answered. A few seconds later she added: "A mother is the gem that made you. My mother was the only person who ever cared about me. She was always there for me."

A few seconds the two gems remained silent. Then Lapis asked: "But if you don't know what a mother is…how you were made then?"

Peridot didn't look at her while answering. "I-I was one of the first gems ever made in kindergarten."

Lapis' eyes widened. "You…really?"

Peridot hung her head. "Yes. And when I came out I was immediately sent to a school where I lived and studied with other gemlings my age. Well, I finished it a lot sooner than most of the others. After school I started working as a technician for the Diamond Authority."

Lapis stared at her counterpart. "I am so sorry…"

The green gem looked at her indifferently. "Why are you sorry? It is the normal procedure for every kindergarten kid."

"I am sorry BECAUSE you are a kindergarten kid."


	7. Chapter 7: The Ocean Gem's Story

Peridot snorted and turned away. "This is nothing you have to be sorry for…I got used to it! Just so you know, I lack nothing!"

Lapis glanced at the other gem. She was not cute or pretty, those would be the wrong words to describe her counterpart.

She was beautiful.

With that unique shaped hair and her far too indifferent though beautiful green eyes. Even these metallic parts of her – Lapis assumed them to be some kind of armour – suited her very well.

Lapis was deep in thought when she heard Peridot's voice: "Lapis Lazuli, why are you staring at me?"

The ocean gem quickly turned away so that the green gem would not see her blushing. "I-it is nothing…I was just…just thinking about these things you told me…"

Peridot nodded. "By the way," she began again. "You haven't told me the whole story yet. Where is that…'mother' of yours now?"

Lapis sighed. "She…she died over 5000 years ago. A few hundred years before I got trapped in that mirror."

She still didn't look at Peridot.

"My mother was also working for the Diamond Authority…just like you. But only because she had no choice. And then the day came when she failed the Diamonds. She was shattered without getting a second chance to do better."

Lapis' eyes were filled with tears when she remembered the only gem that really cared for her. That was there when she needed someone to talk to or simply hold her in her arms and tell her that she loved her.

"Well, it was her own fault." Peridot responded after a few seconds. Her voice was emotionless.

"Her own fault?" Lapis couldn't believe what she just heard. "I am telling you that my mother, my beautiful caring mother, was SHATTERED and the only response you give is that it was her OWN FAULT?"

"Well," Peridot shrugged, "If she'd never failed the Diamonds she'd still be alive."

Lapis stared at her captor, unbelieving. How could she stay so calm while hearing such terrible news? How could she blame Lapis' mother for getting shattered? And how could she be right?

Because, of course, Lapis' mother would still be alive if she'd never failed the Diamonds. But how could Peridot mention that in this situation?

A tear ran down Lapis' cheek. "You don't understand this…" she claimed. "I…I wish I'd never told you!"

Peridot gazed at the blue gem. Why was she crying? Her tears would not bring her mother back. And why was she rejecting Peridot's statement? She was being honest! She was always honest!

Peridot sighed. This was one of the most illogic gems she'd ever talked to…But somehow pretty though.

With that accurate dark blue hair and her beautiful vivid eyes filled with emotions. Emotions Peridot had been rejecting all her life.

Since she was young everyone kept telling her that emotions were only a bother. That's why she'd been trying to keep them hidden.

But this completely illogic traitor kept evoking feelings in her counterpart that Peridot didn't even know she was able to feel.

Feelings she was supposed to forget as quickly as possible.

After a couple of hours Peridot was gone and Lapis lay on the cold cell floor. She let her thoughts drift away. Away from this prison…

Lapis wanted to dream about freedom. Finally being free to make her own decisions and leaving anytime she wanted.

But the only thing on her mind was Peridot.

She thought about her captor's words she claimed after Lapis told the other gem her mother's story: "Your mother was lucky to get away so easily. There are way more horrible things then just shattering, the Diamonds do to gems who fail them."


	8. Chapter 8: What she wants to do to you

"But why?" Peridot claimed. "It doesn't make any sense! She is my prisoner not yours!" Jasper glared down at the smaller gem.

"So what? I want to see her and talk to her. I am sure she's concealing information. And YOU are obviously not interested in these rebel's secrets…"

Peridot sighed. She didn't know why Jasper suddenly wanted to talk to Lapis Lazuli. She only knew that she didn't want her to talk to the blue gem.

"I am asking her myself." Peridot claimed.

Jasper grinned. "Fine. But if she's going to cause any trouble just call me. I'd be glad to help you."

With these words the orange gem turned around and left the room.

When Peridot arrived at her prisoner's cell she saw Lapis Lazuli lying on the floor. "What are you doing?" she asked.

The blue gem lifted herself up. "Nothing," she responded. "Just…um…trying to sleep?"

"Sleep?" Peridot asked. "What is 'sleep'?"

The ocean gem laughed. Her laughter pleased her captor in a strange way.

"Nothing important…" Lapis answered. "Forget it."

After a few seconds she asked: "So, is this your daily check for today?"

Peridot nodded. But then she remembered the promise she'd given Jasper. "But I am also here to hear something about that rebel group founded by Rose Quartz. You were working for them, weren't you?"

The blue gem remained silent for a while before she responded: "No. No, I was imprisoned by them. They were the ones who kept the mirror until Steven freed me. I don't know anything about them."

Peridot frowned. "You were rescued by The Steven? Why did he help you? I mean, you were a total stranger…"

Lapis sighed. "I don't know…I don't understand his actions either…"

The two gems remained silent for some time. Then Peridot imagined Jasper's fury when she would tell her that she didn't found out a single thing. She would hurt Peridot and probably Lapis too. She was supposed to do something!

"Lapis Lazuli," Peridot began. "I know you don't care about me or even hate me for imprisoning you, but you've got to help me now. Jasper wanted me to ask you about those rebels and if I'm not able to give her the desired information she is going to…"

Suddenly Peridot was interrupted. "To do what? Hurt you two weaklings? Probably." Jasper said.

Peridot spun around. "W-what are you doing here? I have got everything under control as you see…" she spoke nervously.

Jasper grinned. "I see that you let this traitor lie to you. Of course she knows something about the rebels. She's pretending."

Lapis glanced fearfully at the huge orange gem standing behind Peridot. She had no doubts that Jasper was going to hurt them both if they didn't do what she wanted them to do.

She was still hoping for Peridot to protect her but Lapis didn't know if the green gem was able too.

Jasper pushed Peridot aside and planted herself in front of her. "So…you are going to tell me everything you know otherwise you are going to be hurt. Understood?"

Lapis' eyes filled with tears. "I-I really don't know anything! Please don't hurt me…"

Jasper turned away. "I believe her. No weakling like that prisoner would dare to lie to me."

Then she froze and turned around again. "Well, she may be a weakling but she's still pretty somehow. Don't you agree, Peridot?"

The green gem remained silent. Only nodded towards her escort. Jasper pondered for a while then asked Peridot: "Um…would you mind leaving this cutie to me? There are some things I'd love to do to her…"

While speaking she looked at Lapis in a way that made the blue gem shiver. Was she meaning what Lapis feared? Would Peridot really leave her to this frightening gem?


	9. Chapter 9: What cannot be prevented

Everything inside Peridot was rejecting the thought of leaving Lapis Lazuli to Jasper. She was going to hurt her. She was going to do things to her that the green gem would rather not imagine.

But then Peridot realized that there was nothing she could do to protect her prisoner.

If Peridot left Lapis to Jasper, only the prisoner would be hurt. But if Peridot confronted her first Jasper would hurt Peridot and then do whatever she wanted to do to Lapis. Peridot knew she wasn't strong enough to protect the blue gem.

In no case Lapis would stay unharmed. So she had to choose the option with less damage. The option of leaving Lapis Lazuli to Jasper.

Lapis pressed herself against the cell wall. Her only hope was to be protected by Peridot. Otherwise terrible things would happen to her. Things she didn't even want to imagine.

"Do whatever you want with her. It is none of my business."

Lapis winced when she heard Peridot's words. She shivered. Peridot wasn't even trying to protect her!

The green gem turned around and left without even looking at Lapis.

Then she saw Jasper deactivating the force field.

Lapis closed her eyes and wished it to be not as painful and horrible as she feared.

Peridot was sitting in the cockpit and trying to concentrate. But she was unable to think of anything but Lapis Lazuli.

How terrified she'd looked when Peridot left her to her frightening escort.

How helpless she was compared to Jasper.

How small and defenceless she seemed to be.

Suddenly Peridot realised that she'd left her fragile beautiful prisoner to one of the most violent gems she knew.

What had she done?

If that blue gem was hurt – what she definitely would be after Jasper's visit – Peridot didn't know how to feel.

Sorry?

Maybe even guilty?

Peridot shook her head crossly. This was nonsense. It was not her fault. It was Jasper's fault. There was nothing she was able to do to protect that prisoner.

She'd made a decision. A logical decision to avoid damage.

But then why was she feeling bad?

Lapis lay on the cold cell floor. She was constantly trying to erase the last few hours from her memory but she wasn't able to.

Too much pain.

Too much anger.

Too much violence.

Jasper left over three hours ago and still Lapis was not able to move or even sit up. She'd lay there for hours and hours and was trying to calm her heartbeat and her thoughts.

She needed someone to blame for what happened to her.

She wanted to blame Jasper. She really wanted to but even the slightest thought containing the orange gem made Lapis wince. She wanted to erase her from her mind.

And every time she thought back to when Jasper first mentioned she wanted to do something to Lapis the blue gem only saw Peridot's emotionless face.

How she turned around without looking back.

How she left Lapis to Jasper without even flinching.

How she betrayed her.

Lapis had known that Peridot could be unfeeling. But she always thought that was only on her outside. Somehow Lapis had had the hope that Peridot had another side.

A better side.

A side that was able to feel, to care.

To maybe care about her.

But now she knew she had been wrong.

The cold ruthless Peridot who imprisoned her, who called her useless and pathetic, who wanted to shatter her, was the true Peridot.

And she would probably never change.


	10. Chapter 10: Heartless?

Peridot was on her way to Lapis Lazuli's cell.  
One day had passed since she left her prisoner to Jasper and Peridot seriously didn't know how the blue gem was going to react when she saw her.  
Maybe she'd be angry again?  
Maybe she was not going to talk to Peridot anymore?

She was going to hate her captor for letting her down.  
If she didn't already.

But Peridot needed to see her again.  
She needed to make sure Lapis was alright.  
She needed to look into her beautiful eyes again. Even if it may be for the last time.

Lapis was sitting on the cell floor.  
All she thought about was how much she hated Peridot for leaving her. Yes, she'd finally found someone to blame.  
And it was not the gem who actually hurt her.

Lapis winced when she heard some heavy footsteps nearby. Who was that? Jasper again? She shivered but then realized that Jasper's footsteps didn't sound metallic.

Lapis lifted her head up and saw Peridot approaching. She let her head fall down again instantly.  
Lapis didn't want to see Peridot.  
She didn't want to see her, nor did she want to talk to her.  
Never again.

"Lapis Lazuli," she heard her captor's voice.  
The ocean gem didn't move.  
"Lapis Lazuli, talk to me!" Peridot's voice was getting louder. "I – I need to make sure you're okay…I know you are mad at me…and you do have good reasons to be mad…but give me a chance to explain my actions."

A part of Lapis wanted to hit Peridot in her face. Wanted to hurt her, to destroy her for what she did to the blue gem.

But another part wanted to listen to her.

This part was still hoping for her not to be completely evil. Indeed to have good reasons.  
Lapis hated this part of hers. What in the world could be a GOOD REASON for Peridot to let her down in this way?  
But she still wanted to believe.

When Lapis didn't reply she heard Peridot sighing.  
"I didn't want Jasper to hurt you…or whatever she did to you…" Peridot started. "But there was nothing I was able to do to keep her from doing what she wanted."

Lapis still didn't move.

"I knew that I was not strong enough to face her." Peridot continued. "And if I'd tried, she'd first hurt me and then do whatever she wanted to do to you. It wouldn't have helped if I'd tried to protect you. All I wanted was to avoid damage."

Lapis didn't want to listen to these surprisingly comprehensible explanations. She didn't want Peridot to have a good explanation.  
She wanted to keep on hating her.

"But I'll do anything," Peridot's voice sounded determined. "To keep Jasper from hurting you again. I promise I'll think of something to make her do what I want but please…talk to me again."

Lapis didn't want to. She really didn't want to but the words just slipped out of her mouth. "Y – You promise to talk to her?"

When she haltingly looked at Peridot she saw her actually smiling.  
"I promise."

Hours later Lapis was lying on the cell floor again. She was incredibly bored. There was nothing to do in this prison but to lie here and do absolutely nothing.  
Nothing but thinking.  
Thinking about Peridot.  
Peridot and her reasons.

Thinking about Peridot made her believe in the other gem's good side again. Was she really that heartless? Or was she just pretending?  
Was she maybe even caring for Lapis? A little?

Oh man, Lapis sighed, she really had too much spare time.


	11. Chapter 11: Unwanted Desire

"You are not harming my prisoner anymore."  
Jasper looked surprised. "What did you just say?"

The two gems were standing in the cockpit and Peridot made the decision to convince Jasper to leave Lapis Lazuli alone.

"You did understand me. I was talking quite loudly."  
Jasper frowned. "The last time I asked you to leave her to me you said it was none of your business…which was true. And it STILL is none of your business!"

Peridot didn't move.  
"Yeah, that was true, but…" she really hoped that Jasper would believe the story she'd thought about. "…but Yellow Diamond wants that prisoner unharmed. She's got plans with her herself. And I am sure she won't be pleased if you tell her that you already…damaged this gem."  
Jasper froze. "Yellow Diamond? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"  
Peridot held back a smile. It was working. "Oh, I forgot back then." She replied. "But I guess it isn't too late yet, is it?"  
Jasper shook her head. "No! She isn't…DAMAGED…as you expressed it. She will be alright."  
Peridot nodded. "Your luck."

Today Lapis couldn't wait for Peridot to arrive. She needed to know if her attempt to convince Jasper to leave her alone had been successful.  
And maybe she just wanted to see the green gem again.

Lapis shook her head. What was going on with her? Her feelings for Peridot kept being unpredictable.  
There were times she hated the other gem.  
Times, when she really hated her for being unfeeling and ruthless and cold.  
For putting her into prison again and make her feel trivial.

But there were also times when Lapis thought of maybe even liking her captor.  
Times when Peridot was nice towards her. Like yesterday, when she promised to talk to Jasper.  
Like that day when she was explaining her tech to Lapis.  
And all the hours they spent talking to each other.

Lapis didn't realize that Peridot was standing in front of her cell until the green gem lightly knocked on the metallic frame of the cell.

Lapis winced and lifted her head up.  
"Peridot!" she cried out. "How was your talk to…?"

Peridot didn't let her finish the sentence. "Don't worry. She'll leave you alone from now on."  
Lapis grinned. "Really? But how did you…"  
"Don't you worry about that…" Peridot said. "The only important thing is, she won't harm you anymore."  
"Oh my Diamond…I don't even know how to thank you!" Lapis relaxed and rested her head against the wall.  
Peridot shrugged. "No problem." She dropped herself beside the cell. "Is there…maybe something you want to talk about?"

Lapis nodded. "Tell me more about you…your work…what you've done before you got this mission."

Peridot sighed. "Fine"

When she started talking about her life on Homeworld Lapis only half listened to what she was saying.

The ocean gem was too distracted by her captor's strange beauty, the way she was sitting, the way she was resting her head against the wall, the way she was crossing her detachable fingers.  
Lapis had always been fascinated by them and suddenly she started to think about how it may feel to touch these fingers.  
To cross her own ones with them.  
To run her hand through Peridot's hair.  
To feel the other gem's lips upon hers.

"Lapis Lazuli? Can you hear me?"  
When hearing Peridot's voice the blue gem winced. "Ah…um…yes…sorry, I was…distracted…?"  
A deep blue blush covered Lapis' face. She hoped Peridot wouldn't ask WHY she was distracted.

A couple of hours later Lapis tried to sleep. She really needed the rest but somehow couldn't calm down.  
All she could think about was her way too beautiful captor.

She was not only beautiful but also willing to protect Lapis from Jasper. In her own way. And of course, the most intelligent gem Lapis had ever known.

"This is ridiculous!" Lapis thought. "Why am I thinking about these things…I am supposed to hate her and not to…well…whatever I am doing."  
"Am I liking her? Craving her? Or even more?"

Lapis sighed.  
"I need to forget these stupid feelings this instant. Before she'll suspect anything. If only it were that easy."


	12. Chapter 12: Whats not supposed to happen

Peridot was on her way to check on the machines in the lower floors of her ship. Something was not working properly and she needed to fix it before it caused trouble.

While walking down the empty corridors her thoughts went back to the day before. What would happen if Yellow Diamond and Jasper found out she'd lied about Lapis Lazuli?  
Was she going to be shattered?  
Or was she maybe even going back to Black Fort Prison again?

Everything inside her shivered by the thought of seeing this place again. The place where the Diamonds kept sending the gems who failed them.  
And kept torturing them for hundreds of years until they were nothing but mindless slaves doing anything they were told to.  
Anything just to stop the pain.

This place was able to change gems. No one who survived the agony of being there was still the same after getting out.  
And no one would be so foolish as to ever fail the Diamonds again.

Panic grew inside her. What had she done? Had she really risked everything just to protect this nobody?  
A gem that was worth practically nothing? A Lapis Lazuli was not even worth cloning and using as slaves like they did with the Pearls.

That gem was useless and unworthy.  
She didn't deserve to live.  
That's what Yellow Diamond said about her.

And though Peridot kept protecting her.  
Kept risking anything just to keep her safe from any kind of harm.

She almost laughed out when she thought about how pointless her attempts to protect that prisoner were.  
When they arrived back on Homeworld there was nothing she would be able to do to keep the Diamonds from doing whatever they wanted with the blue gem.  
And still she had to try.

Peridot had finished her work and was on her way back to the cockpit. She couldn't help herself but took the detour through the prison section.

When she was able to see the only cell containing a prisoner, she froze.  
The blue gem was dancing.

Dancing with her eyes closed and not paying attention to anything else but her moves.  
She was so beautiful.  
Her motion was full of grace and elegance. It almost seemed as if she was not even touching the ground.  
Never before Peridot had seen something like this. On Homeworld every kind of expressing your feelings like dancing was forbidden – unless to please the Diamonds.

To see her prisoner acting like this felt strange but also awoke some kind of feelings in Peridot. Feelings, she'd never felt before.

Suddenly she found herself wanting to touch Lapis Lazuli.  
To hold this strange and fascinating gem.  
To get to know how it would feel to lay her hands upon her.  
To do what was forbidden where she came from.

But in this moment Peridot didn't care about the rules.  
Only about Lapis Lazuli.


	13. Chapter 13: Suddenly within reach

When Lapis realized that Peridot was standing in front of the cell and watching her dance, it was already too late.  
She abruptly stopped and almost stumbled and fell down. "Peridot!" she cried out and blushed. "How…how long were you…standing there?"  
Peridot smiled a little. "Long enough."  
"Oh…" Lapis' blush grew deeper. "I thought you were coming later today…like always."

Peridot frowned.  
"Just because I usually come later that doesn't mean I can't visit you earlier too…I had some work to do on the lower floors and thought of taking the detour across this section…but you obviously don't want me to be here. So I'd better be leaving now…"

"No…wait!" Lapis cried out. "I…I want you to be here, I just don't want you to…" It took the blue gem a moment to realize that she just admitted that she loved the talks to Peridot.  
Lapis blushed again and covered her mouth with her hands.

Peridot stared unbelievingly at the other gem. Did she really just said that she wanted Peridot to be here?  
Was that even possible?  
"You…want to talk about something?" Peridot asked. She hardly could supress a blush herself.

"I…" But before Lapis could finish the sentence, Peridot heard loud footsteps somewhere close.  
Jasper.  
What was she supposed to do? She couldn't let Jasper catch her while talking to Lapis Lazuli. This would only lead to her answering awkward questions.

Her mind was used to working fast. She was good at solving problems within a dead line. And Peridot only saw a single option to avoid Jasper.  
To avoid being caught.

When Lapis heard Jasper coming closer she began to panic. What would the frightening gem do when she caught Peridot talking to her?

But before she was even able to think of a possible solution, Peridot was already deactivating the force field.  
Lapis instantly grasped what Peridot intended to do.  
She quickly grabbed the other gem's hand and pressed her against the cell wall. Peridot gasped obviously surprised by her prisoner's actions but Lapis didn't care.

She pressed herself against the other gem's body so that Peridot was no longer able to move. They remained silent until Lapis saw Jasper approaching.

They were now covered by the wall and most likely not able to be seen by someone who just passed the cell.  
Indeed the orange gem passed by without spotting the two gems.

When they were not able to hear Jasper's footsteps anymore, Lapis could have let Peridot go.  
But then she suddenly realized what was happening.  
How close the other gem now was.

All the time they kept talking to each other through a force field not able to grew closer. To touch each other.  
But now Peridot was right here.  
Suddenly within her reach.

She could feel the green gem's skin underneath her fingertips. It felt strange to unexpectedly touch her.  
Strange but good.

Lapis felt herself being attracted to her captor more and more. Suddenly she knew that she didn't want to let her go.

"Um…" Peridot unexpectedly broke the silence. "…Jasper's gone…you can let me go now…"  
Lapis didn't look at her. "But…what if I don't want to?"


	14. Chapter 14: A ridiculous Offer

Peridot stared at the gem that was still pressing her against the wall. What did she mean when she said that she didn't want to let her go? Did she make a mistake when coming into this cell?

"W-what do you mean, are you threatening me? What could be a reason for you to…?"

But before she was able to finish her sentence Peridot saw the blue gem coming closer and suddenly felt her lips upon hers.

Lapis didn't know why she was doing what she was doing but didn't want to stop either. The kiss felt right even if it may have been wrong.

But then she suddenly realized what she was doing.

She knew she wasn't supposed to do this.

And she knew that Peridot would be mad at her for kissing her.

Lapis broke off the kiss instantly.

She wasn't able to look into her counterpart's eyes while letting her go and stuttering: "I-I am so sorry…I didn't want to…it…it just happened…oh my Diamond I am so so sorry…please…I…I don't know how this could have happened or what was going on with me when I…"

But Peridot interrupted her. "You don't have to be sorry…Well, maybe you DO have to be because this wasn't supposed to happen, but…I am not mad at you."

Lapis stared unbelievingly at her captor. "You…you are not?"

Peridot sat down beside the wall. "No I am not."

Lapis guardedly moved towards her. "W...why not? Because…" she was standing right in front of Peridot now. "Because as you said, it was not supposed to happen…"

Peridot remained silent.

Lapis needed all her courage to ask the following. "Did you…like it?"

Peridot didn't say anything first then she clenched her fist. "That doesn't matter. Just…just forget it okay? This has never happened."

Lapis' eyes widened. She didn't know why Peridot's words hurt her this bad but they did.

"I…okay…I am sorry…"

Her eyes were filled with tears.

"Are you crying?" The green gem asked suddenly. Lapis shook her head. "No, I…just…"

Peridot sighed. "I did like it." She finally admitted. "But…this can't happen. And you know that."

Lapis stared at her unbelievingly for a second. Then she moved closer and sat down on her counterpart's lap.

"I know…" she whispered.

"But…I am your prisoner, aren't I?"

Peridot stared at her. "Um…yes, but…?"

Lapis interrupted her. She had to make her this offer though she knew it was ridiculous and stupid and dangerous.

She simply had to.

"So…you are able to do to me whatever you want and I won't be able to stop you." She paused for a second. "Just like Jasper did to me what she wanted."

Peridot's eyes widened. "I – I don't want to hurt you like she did!"

Lapis smiled. "Then do to me whatever YOU want. I am sure there is something…" She moved herself closer to the other gem until their faces were only millimetres apart.

Peridot remained silent for a second. Then she asked: "Are…you making me an offer?"

Lapis nodded. "Yes…kind of."

The green gem pondered for a second. "Well, I would be silly if I didn't accept it."

Lapis frowned. "You are not silly. You are the most intelligent gem I ever met."

Peridot smiled. "Exactly."


	15. Chapter 15: How it feels to be with you

When Lapis felt the other gem's lips upon hers again she knew her strategy had worked. She didn't hesitate for a second to return the kiss.

It felt different this time. Most likely because Peridot was kissing her back this time.

Lapis wrapped her arms around her fellow gem and did what she had been wanting to do all this time.

Holding the green gem close and feeling her body pressed against her own.

Gently running her fingers through Peridot's hair.

Kissing her. Kissing her like this.

When they broke the kiss Lapis was sure her desire for the other gem wasn't unrequited. There were so many things she wanted to do to Peridot.

So many things she wanted Peridot to do to her.

Then the blue gem had an idea. She softly touched Peridot's visor. "Would you mind taking that off?" she asked.

Peridot looked surprised. "Why?"

Lapis giggled. "I was about to ask you "why" too. Why are you even wearing this?"

"It is protecting my eyes and my gem. And it has some extra features which allow me to access…"

But Lapis interrupted her. "You don't need it right now, do you?"

Peridot sighed. "Fine…"

She didn't do anything to keep Lapis from pulling it away. Peridot looked different without the visor. But not worse.

Lapis gently touched her gem.

Then she placed a light kiss upon it.

Peridot couldn't describe what she was feeling in that moment. This whole thing came to her so unexpectedly. The ocean gem came to her unexpectedly.

And when she felt Lapis kissing her gem she felt strange.

Strange but good.

Better than she ever felt before.

This prisoner kept evoking feelings in her captor. Feelings she had never experienced before. And yet she instinctively knew what to do.

How to treat that blue gem.

Her prisoner.

Her fragile, beautiful, unique prisoner.

She wanted to be with her. Be with her in every way.

 **ATTENTION! P/16 FROM NOW UNTIL THE CHAPTER'S ENDING**

 **So, you don't need to read the following to understand the story. The rest isn't real mature but it's close to mature so don't read if you don't want to.**

 **As I was saying, you will understand the story even without knowing this part. Just continue with the next chapter.**

 **If I'll ever do such parts again, I'll put a warning on again.**

Lapis continued running her hand across the other gem's body when she heard Peridot's voice. "So…you are really doing everything I want you to?"

Lapis smiled. "Yes. Yes I am."

The green gem pointed at her clothes. "Then take these off."

Lapis smiled. "Why don't YOU take them off?"

Peridot rolled her eyes. "Because gems are only able to change their look by shapeshifting. And I can't shapeshift for you."

Lapis giggled. "I know…I just wanted to tease you."

Finally Lapis did what Peridot told her to.

She didn't feel embarrassed in any way. Indeed she felt safe. Safe and more free than she had ever felt in the last 5000 years.

Suddenly she remembered how rude Jasper had been to her. And how different it felt when Peridot touched her.

She was not able to comprehend her feelings nor she was able to supress them.

And she didn't want to either.

Lapis didn't know how long they lay there and tired out how it felt to be together. It may have been hours, it may have been days. She only knew she didn't want to let the other gem go.

Never.

This experience was something she had never done before but was now addicted too. Or maybe it was Peridot whom she was addicted too?

Addicted to how it felt to touch her.

To how it felt to have her hands upon her body and her lips upon hers.

To how it felt to have her body next to her owns and to know she was here. Here with Lapis.

To the fact that she was feeling the same way.

That she was able to feel, able to care.

To care about Lapis.


End file.
